Word of God, Speak

Word of God Speak – MercyMe

I’m finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it’s okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God Speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You’re in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I’m finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

Music is easily one of my favorite things ever and I’m sure song lyrics take up a good chunk of my brain capacity, but rarely does a song come along that actually helps me in my current situation.

This past week, I was shuffling through music during a bus ride and the song “Call on Jesus” played. It was a song I loved as a church kid back when my fave radio station was 95.5 The Fish (haha), but this was not the song I needed at the time (but I thought I’d still mention it since I loved it once and since it led me to recall this other song). I was listening to this song and singing along in my head and while I thought it was a nice sentiment that ‘all things are possible with Jesus,’ sometimes I need more than nice sentiments.

I somehow recalled another song in these moments, a song I hadn’t listened to in awhile, a song that came out when I was around eight, but a song that’s still on my phone (because I keep all 4,000+ of my songs with me at all times for occasions like this). So I entered the name of the song into my phone’s search bar and clicked on the music file that came up. “Word of God Speak” by MercyMe. There was a moment while I was listening to the song that my eyes got a little damp and I got a little scared that it might be hormones and that my period was coming, which it still hasn’t, so it must mean the song really did affect me.

I’ve had conversations with my fellow YAV sisters about our… how should I put it… spiritual life here in Peru. Although we’re here as part of a program through the church, none of us are working directly with churches at our worksites and since we’re not living together, our “intentional Christian community” (which is a core tenet of our program) looks a little different than a group of YAVs living in the same house who can gather weekly for bible study or prayer. (To be extremely honest, I’m not super mad that we’re lacking this.) I go to church with my host parents most Sunday mornings, but it’s a different kind of worship experience when you can’t understand everything, can’t sing along to all the praise songs, and you have your own way of understanding God. All this is to say that we have to depend on ourselves to be spiritually fed most of the time.

We are basically out here on our own searching for God. (So pretty much like regular life, I guess.) We’re experiencing new things on our own and interpreting those experiences on our own (at least until we message each other about it later). For me, I know God is there, because God is everywhere, but I can’t always say how. I don’t have major epiphanies every day or every week, even.

One of my least favorite well-meaning questions to be asked is, “Where did you see God today?” It’s a question I always try to have some kind of answer to for myself, but when asked this question, it always feels like it requires a grand answer, or at least a new answer, when my answer is often the same as yesterday and the day before. I see God in nature, in people, in actions, in our ability to love and wonder…. This answer doesn’t really change for me day to day. I don’t constantly (like daily) see God in new ways. There aren’t always things happening in my life (that I realize) that reveal God to me or that I can easily connect with some story from la biblia (ugh not fond of those assignments). Some days I don’t really ‘see’ God (working) at all, I just know God is there. But sometimes that’s enough. It’s gotta be.

There are a couple of lines in the song that really got me this time around…

“Washing my eyes to see your majesty…”

I was listening to this while staring out the window at the vast mountains that surround this entire city as we were on our way to the girls at the shelter who show me God’s love every day… and I wondered how I could ever think I wasn’t seeing God here. God’s majesty is before my eyes every day.

“To be still and know that you’re in this place…”

This reassured me that sometimes it’s enough just to know that God is here and that God is working even if I can’t see it or understand it.

When I feel like I’m not seeing God, it’s okay, I’ll just know God is there and keep my eyes open.

When I feel like I have no words or answers, it’s okay, I’ll let God speak… and hopefully I’ll be paying enough attention to hear.

-Kristen